My Journal- January thru July 2000

As you probably know, I have this strange thing with bugs (eating them, being bit by them, LBIs, Crickets, Moths, and Spiders). But I'm really not that bad as long as I'm not inundated with them. I swear!

Have I gotten it across to you that there are a lot of bugs in Dallas? Well, in case I haven't... there ARE! And I think the majority of them live in my back yard. Why? Well, surely one bug told another bug who told another bug about how I am scared of them, so they all decided to move on in out back and catch some cheap thrills when I mow my yard.

We have been getting a lot of rain in Dallas lately, which is sort of odd for this time of the year. It's great for our lakes, crops, and lawn color, but it makes the grass grow FAST! I feel like it was just yesterday that I went out there and mowed. Now the grass is already up to my knees! And just imagine how many bugs can hide in that much grass.

OK, picture this if you will... it's 97 degrees out on a sunny Sunday afternoon. I am dressed in...

• long sweatpants which are tucked into my socks which are covered by hiking boots
• a long sleeve hooded shirt which is tucked into my sweatpants
• the sleeves of my shirt are tucked into my work gloves
• my hood is up and tied tightly around my head, revealing only my face

I pull out my electric lawnmower, which happens to be on its last legs. I steel myself and take a DEEP breath. "WWHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!" Says my lawnmower when I turn it on. Man, it's LOUD!!! Are lawnmowers (especially electric ones) always this loud? What if people look over my fence and in at me, dying to see what lawnmower that could possibly make such a racket? They might think I'm an alien from outerspace, coming to steal grass clippings and leaping bugs!

As I hesitantly push the mower forward, tons of bugs leap to and fro, escaping the twirling blades. I shriek, but fortunately don't think I can be heard over the sound of the mower. I clamp my lips tightly together, to avoid an accidental protein snack. I breathe through my nose deeply, but sparingly, and push the mower forward another foot. Something lands on my arm. OH GOD! SOMETHING'S LANDED ON MY ARM! I shriek again and swat at it. In doing so, my hand comes off the power button and the mower stops, and my shriek echoes through the yard. Oh my, someone had to have heard that.

'Sorry' I say timidly, just in case. I once again turn my attention to the mower and talk myself into restarting it and getting further down the yard. I look at my goal... which happens to be only 12 feet away from where I'm standing. 'I can do it, I can do it', I chant inside my mind. I bravely push the mower forward with determination on my face. I feel as though I'm going into battle, and I'm on the front lines. This is my chance to be a hero, to take one for the war, to protect my country, my beliefs, my ... oh ... AHHHH! BUG on my nose! BUG ON MY NOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lightening fast, I swat at my nose. "Get off me!" I yell, extremely upset that a bug would even DARE to land in such a place. I end up running from the yard onto the reasonably safe patio to take a break, and to take a sanity check.

I look at the whole whopping 4 feet of grass I've just mowed. Oh boy, this is going to be a long day. Sweat drips under my shirt, and feels almost like a bug crawling. Creepy. I end up slapping my stomach hard just to be sure. If it was a bug, it's dead now. I should also develop quite a nice bruise; great.

'Ugh, what is wrong with me?!?!?' I think angrily. 'Why on earth am I such a WUSS? Do I really think these bugs could hurt me? Am I so retarded that I think I could receive permanent damage from them? Then what is my problem?? So what if a few bugs crawl on me? Life won't end.'

'Yes, it will.'

'What? Who said that?'

'Life will surely end if too many bugs land on you. You mustn't let them near you.'

'Huh??'

'Bugs are the root of all evil.'

In defiance to this horrible voice, I stomp back out to the yard and mow. I mow and mow and mow and, by the way, don't do a very good job. I leave huge clumps near the patio and alongside the fence and house. The mower just can't get that close, and I don't really care. I just want it over. I begin to feel as if I might hyperventilate. 'Almost done... almost done...' By this time I'm swimming in my sweat. I swat at bugs left and right, holding my breath, retaining my determination. I am focused, I am one with the mower.

I am done. Whew!

I hurriedly put the mower away and run inside and shed off my layers of damp clothing. Another challenge completed! Another triumph to rejoice in. Another day with my sanity more or less in tact. Thank goodness. I look at the back yard through my patio door. 'Not too shabby', I think somewhat proudly.

Well, that was all three weeks ago, and this weekend I have to do it again. Yup, all over again... the grass is tall, and the bugs are a-callin'. They want to see if I can yet again resist their onslaught. Well, I'm not so sure this time. I think I have mentally weakened. This time I may not be so strong. This time may be my last... I may crack... break... oh no.................

Will anyone come mow my yard for me this weekend?

Please?

Well, what I've done is assemble a pretty cool webpage for my Germany/Europe trip I was on last month. Oh yeah! TONS of pictures! You've GOT to check them out! It took a long time to organize that. And there's more photos on the way! I will be getting doubles of Stacey's pictures soon, and Karsten (our wonderful guide) also took photos with his digital camera, and I will have a link to his photo album page here as soon as he posts them.

So, check that out for now. That should keep you busy while I write a new journal entry! Shoo!

Also, about 7 weeks ago, my Mom moved to Dallas! Isn't that exciting! She's now living in a cool apartment about 4 miles from me. Now, if I can just get my brother and his wife-to-be down here, things would be about perfect.

Have I ever mentioned I'm scared of bugs? LOL! I mean, it's getting ridiculous! The good news, is that I'm really only scared of BIG bugs now. The little ones hardly phase me, but the big ones get me each time (I would define big as bigger than the pad of my thumb).

For example, one day I'm getting ready for work, minding my own business when all of a sudden this hornet comes flying into my bedroom. It was HUGE!!! How on earth did that get in my house and how long had it been buzzing about? I shivered at the thought. As I saw it and realized what it was, I let out an involuntary scream of horror. Like I'm going to scare it away. It decided to land on my powder room's mirror and I tried to pull myself out of my state of shock and paralyzed fear to find the fly-swatter. Fortunately, it was nearby. As I slowly creeped up to the mirror I fought the urge to turn around and run away. OOOOHHH LLORRRDYY! It was so UGLY!! I wondered what might happen if I swatted and missed. It might come right for me and sting me with a vengance! I had to make the swing count. I couldn't miss.

I took a deep breath and swung with all my might. Fortunately, I hit the bugger and it landed on the counter. But wait! It was still moving! ICK UGH OHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! Die! You b*stard, DIE!!! I swung at it again. It landed on its back, unmoving. From my safe spot 5 feet back, I peered at the insect, watching for any signs of life. After 30 seconds or so, I attempted to pick up the dead bug using the fly-swatter. I wanted to flush its body down the toilet for good measure. After a few failed attempts, I finally got the bug on the fly-swatter and balanced it the few steps to the toilet. FLUSH! I watched as it went down and away. It was about then I realized I had been holding my breath and I inhaled deeply. For about another 15 minutes, I was skittish and revved up. Who knew when the next LBI (Large Bug Incident) would occur?

LBI - Sighting Number 2

Just the other night I was vacuming my living room. Every few months I go around with just the hose and suck up all the stuff from the corners and from the baseboards that the normal vacume attachment can't get to. So there I am, singing my heart out to the EVITA soundtrack, again... MINDING MY OWN BUSINESS... when I run into a LBI... one of the large ugly grey scary beetle variety (that's the clinical name). It was sitting right next to the plug outlet, resting on a plug to my lamp. To my horror, I realized my hand had been about 1 inch away from that area a few second ago!! It could have attacked me!! As this thought sunk into my brain, I let out a blood curling scream and jumped. I scared myself! 'Wow, I should try out for a horror movie', I thought, 'I'm not half bad at this'. I sort of expected a neighbor to come pounding on my door, ready to call 911 if I didn't answer immediately. But this didn't happen. Which got me to thinking... what if I really WAS attacked? Man, my neighbors just don't care. Perhaps I've cried wolf one too many times? Eh? But then my thoughts went back the the LBI I was in the midst of experiencing. 'What to do', I thought as I stood there, shaking like a coward. Again, I sought out the trusty fly-swatter. Upon returning to the bug, I realized this murder would be difficult. The bug was in a precarious place, perched on the plug to my lamp, right behind my end table. I couldn't get a good clean wack at it with all this stuff in the way. Now you may ask me... why don't I just vacume it up? Well, I'll tell you why... because I could not live knowing that there was a live bug crawling around in my vacume cleaner bag. And hence, the murder plans commenced.

"What's new, Buenos Aires?" Madonna sang. "You wanna know what you're gonna get of me? Just a little touch of star quality." I wanted to hum along (oh, how I love Evita), but couldn't. I steeled myself and took a sideways swat... and missed. The bug didn't move. Obviously, he wasn't very easily bothered. Second time was a charm... but OOOH!! Where did he go? Oh GREAT, now I had a case of the MBIKITLBI (Missing But I Know It's There Large Bug Incident). I had to find it. I looked at the couch that I was currently kneeling on. There I saw a large grey blob and I jumped back. Cruel fate... it was just some lint that I promptly vacumed up. I finally found the bug, comfortably laying on the carpet, completely unbothered? My? What kind of bug IS this? I prodded it with the fly-swatter and it didn't move. Ahh... the best kind! A DEAD bug! And then VWOOP! Up in the vacume he went.

LBI Number 3

Or is it? This past weekend I was outside hanging up a thermometer on my fence. As I pounded the nail into the fence, I noticed out of the corner of my eye a HUGE long grey thing scramble around the wood. "AHHHHHHH!" I screamed and then covered my mouth. Golly! I was OUTSIDE! Talk about crying wolf!! I was really asking for it now! Did I have no control of my screams what-so-ever?? As I scolded myself for the scream, my mind processed what the bug was... it was a MFABI case (Mistaken for a Bug Identity). No, it wasn't a scorpion or a large millipede, it was a cute grey lizard! He was now out of my site (I musta scared the poor little guy to death), but that didn't stop me from apologizing outloud. Yes, OUTLOUD. I was half apologizing to the lizard, and half to my neighbors. Dunno if anyone heard me, though.

Gosh, after all, who'd be scared of a cute lizard? Dummy me.

On Friday Feb. 17, I did receive another 18 roses and they finally came with a signed note! Who were they from?? My great friend, Colin, who lives in CA, but is from England. What a sweetie! I thanked him profusely. I think he felt a little bad about keeping me in suspense for so long, though. Eh, revenge is sweet. (J/K!!)

Did I tell you I'm going to Europe again this spring? I can't WAIT! Stace and I are going this time to Germany and some other countries... probably Switzerland and Italy. I have a couple of penpals in Germany, and one who is a good friend of mine who is willing to show us around! His name is Karsten, and we've met in person when he came to the states on a trip back in... hmm... early 1996, I'd say. Or it maybe was late 1995? Karsten?

Anyway, if anyone has any MUST SEE tips for these countries, please let me know.

Let's see... what else is going on? Lots, actually, but nothing I'm at freedom to talk about just yet.

Actually, I do have a Katie-blunder story for you. Perhaps you can learn from this grave mistake...

One morning two weeks ago I decided to throw in a load of laundry, to get it going before I left for work. Great idea... how efficient! How domestic! So, I'm upstairs and I'm grabbing all my dirty clothes and I stack them high in my arms. I was secretly impressed I would be able to carry it all in one trip without the hamper. When I get to the washer, I can't really see much, but what's there to see? So I dump all my clothes in the washer (I don't believe in sorting colors and crap like that... toss it all in together... that's my motto). Then I put in the detergent and even some fabric softener and I start the washer. Cool. I brush my hands together a few times for a job well done and head back upstairs to finish getting ready for work.

Jump to that night. I come home from the gym and remember that I need to throw my clothes in the dryer. As I open the washer and pull out the first item (my bathroom shag rug toilet seat cover), I notice there is little white lint stuff all over it. What?? I looked at it closer and it looked like a shredded up tissue. 'Oh man, did I leave a tissue in one of my pants pockets or something?' Even though I never do that, I just assumed that's what I did and I began the pains-taking task of picking out the tissue pieces from the shag rug material. ERGH! Then I pulled out another item (another rug) and noticed even MORE stuff on it. WHAT? How many tissues did I have in my pockets? Then I noticed the color of the stuff was a little off-white... hmmm... how would I describe it... yeah! It looked just like the color of... my napkins.

NAPKINS?

Napkins!! Oh no, please say no... please... please... I glance up slowly to the shelf just above my washer to where I store my napkins. GONE! They were gone. A whole bag of like 250 count napkins that I had just bought... gone. Oh no! I tore out other items from the washer! To my horror, everything was COVERED in tiny shredded up napkins. I had just washed a 250 count bag of napkins in with my other laundry! I finally found the plastic bag, which confirmed that indeed the entire bag fell in. How could this happen? Ugh... they must have fallen in the previous night and cuz my arms were so full with clothes, I didn't see them at the bottom of the washer when I tossed my clothes on top of them.

Then I panicked even further... would be washer be ruined? Would it be stuffed up with billions of tiny peices of napkins? For the next hour, I shook out my wash and picked out as much of the napkin barf as I could from my clothes. Then I turned my efforts to the washer itself. Oh man oh man, I would live to regret this. I then spent quite some more time picking peices out of my washer. You know those little holes that are in the bottom and sides of your washer that lets the water out during the spin cycle? Well, nearly each and everyone of those holes had napkin in or around it.

The prognosis? GOOD! Clothes were dried, then still had to spend some time picking napkin out of the shag rugs. Next time I did a load of laundry, I eyed the washer closely, looking for any signs of trouble. But there were none, thankfully.

So let me give you this bit of advice. Always look in your washer before you wash your clothes. Afterall, who knows what could be in there... napkins, dryer sheets, trash bags, food, even Fluffy! You just don't know.

So I suggest taking a peak so you knows, exactly what you washin' with your clothes.

Does this ring any bells to any of you? Having a bit of a Deja Vu, perhaps? Need a reminder? Then read this from 1996. <giggle> Yeah... that was funny. But these aren't from Brad Pitt, I'm sure of it. He doesn't seem to be shy to sign the flowers he sends me.

Ironically, I got to see a 1981 year book today from when Brad Pitt was a sophomore! A friend of a friend went to school with him in Springfield, MO (Kickapoo High School)! How cool! He was a cutie even back then. He was on the tennis team! I knew there was a reason I had an affinity for tennis in High School! How neat would it have been to go to school with BRAD PITT, even if he wasn't famous back then? I mean... he signed this girls yearbook like this: "Leslie, I'm really glad I got to meet you this year. Hopefully I'll see more of you this summer. Good luck in the future - I know you won't have any trouble. Love Always Brad Pitt". Then there is just an adorable (eh?) drawing of a pile of turd that has fumes coming off of it and underneath it it says "B.P. Trademark". haha! You know something interesting... if my autographed photo of Brad Pitt I have hanging up in my cube was actually signed by him, he sure does like to write in all caps, cuz both that note and the yearbook note are in all caps. As a matter of fact, I will scan both of them in and list them here, so you can compare. And while I'm at it, I'll scan in his year book photo and a tennis action shot as well. Check them out:

As you may know, on Monday night I got back from my 3 day trip to Orlando with my friend, Jeff. We had a blast! I'm planning on putting the photos up from the trip tonight in my Photos/Trips area, so watch for those as well!

Oh, and one more thing! I'm starting to learn Macromedia Flash. And I say that optimistically, cuz "learn" may not be the word you'd choose. Wanna see my first ever Flash animation? It's really cheesy and lame, but all the drawings are original. HAHA!

Well, now that that's out of the way, and we're reflecting back on the 1900's... it brings me to ask you a question.

Have you ever wondered what things we believe as humans that are dramatically WRONG?

I have. I mean, what if our thoughts on when the dinosaurs lived or HOW they lived are wrong? There's no way for us to really know! I mean, we can guess based on carbon dating and all that technology stuff, but what if one of the theories we use to base our ideas off of is wrong? Do you ever wonder if you'll get to find out all the answers to these things when you die?

Was the T-Rex or any dinosaur really the largest canivore to ever live on Earth (have you heard of the Gigantosaurus carolinii)? Are we sure T-Rex was a ferocious flesh eater? He would appear to be... but perhaps not! Perhaps... just PERHAPS... we have it all wrong!

How bout the Big Bang Theory or the String Theory or the Symmetric Theory? I mean, many scientists have proposed ideas as to how old our universe is, but many are conflicting. What if there WAS no Big Bang? How about our concept of light years and distance in space? We use light/gamma/etc. rays to determine things like how hot an object is or how far away it is or how fast it's traveling... but what if we're wrong about the basic theorum on determining these things? After all, it's not like we can just get on a jet and fly to Alpha Centari and find out exactly how far away it is and it's temperature and what elements it is composed of and whether or not it has life.

How about our ideas on time travel and worm holes and space-time? Is time travel really easier than we think, but we're missing something so obvious? What about meta-physical concepts such as telepathy and telekinesis? Do we all have a "sixth sense" and just need to figure out how to use it? Perhaps it is so easy, and we're wrong thinking that it doesn't exist or that it's only for the gifted.

What about evolution? Did we really evolve from ape-like creatures? In what time frame did we do this? What human races were first to cross what continents and when? What is the riddle of the desert mummies?

What about other geological ideas we have about the Earth or the Moon? Was the moon really formed when an asteroid hit the earth? Did life really evolve from the oceans? Were the continents all one land mass at one point in time? Are we sure?!

How about the way we Americans/Europeans live as society? Were humans meant to be doing the things we are today? Are we meant to sit down and type on a computer? Are we meant to be monogomous? Are we meant to shave and wear clothing? Did we somehow get down a path much different than natuaral evolution had in mind? Or does evolution really have anything in mind? Are we supposed to be developing computers/robots that can think? Are we dooming ourselves to lose our place as the dominant life form on planet Earth?

What about medical/physiological concepts? Is caffeine really bad? Does an asprin a day help or hurt cardiovascular functions? Is it better to lift weights slowly or quickly?

Religion is the obvious one, here, too. Is one specific religion correct? Are none of them? This is a very personal issue, so I think I'll stay clear of it. But I'm sure you catch my drift.

In general, there are so many theories, but wouldn't it be neat to know the REAL answer to these questions? What questions have you wondered about? What concepts do you controvercially think society could have completely and utterly wrong? I'd be interested in hearing them. Maybe I'll even post a few here at a later date.

Anyway, I kind of like the idea that maybe we're not as smart as we think we are. Surely the universe still holds a ton of secrets... ones we've never even DREAMT of yet. I just hope perhaps that one of them will be revealed before my time is up on this planet.