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My Journal- June thru August 1999

Wednesday August 25, 1999

Did you just ever wanna buy forks? No really... I mean... what happens if you have too many spoons and too many knives, but only a couple forks? Have you ever tried to go to the store and buy JUST forks? Cuz you can just forget about doing that. Obviously, silverware is only respectfully bought in sets these days. Want another fork? Then here's a knife and spoon to go with it. Want one... then you got to take them all.

See, I experienced this dilemma. Target, K-Mart, Walmart, Service Merchandise, Bed Bath and Beyond... it didn't matter where I went. If I wanted to buy forks, I had to buy spoons and knives as well.

Now, how I ended up with a fork shortage in the first place is beyond me. Perhaps the fork thief paid one too many visits to my house; perhaps my dishwasher has a particular taste for fork (the other white meat); perhaps my forks wanted to run away with the spoons, but the spoons weren't able to keep up. I dunno. But the fact of the matter is that I had a serious fork shortage and needed to buy some more. I didn't care if they matched the rest of my silverware. I'm not that way... well, atleast not yet, anyway.

But here's where we get to the good stuff. I'm about to give you a hot, hot tip. And remember, you heard it here first. You see... you take the golden "AN" and head down to the TAN VAN and meet a guy named DAN... (ooops, sorry, don't actually do that- just a Sesame Street flashback). But, really, I do have a tip to give you and it's about where you can go to buy ONLY forks. Yes. That's right. Forks, all by themselves; NON-accompanied by spoons and knives (and by the way, this holds true with any utencil you may need). And that place is.... any DOLLAR store. That's right. If the name of the store has the word DOLLAR in the title, you're guaranteed to be able to buy JUST forks. DOLLAR GENERAL, EVERYTHING'S A DOLLAR, FAMILY DOLLAR, BUDGET DOLLAR, etc. Now don't forget this... it's valuable information.

Speaking of DOLLAR stores... man, have you ever been in one of those? They're incredible. Cuz you know what... you walk up to something and you wonder how much it is cuz it has no price and you're like: "Excuse me Miss... how much are these candleholders?" And she looks at you excitedly and says: "A dollar... everything's a dollar here!" And you raise your eyebrows in excitement and pick up the candleholder. You walk down the isle and you see a beautiful fake flower arrangement. Now SURELY THAT'S not a dollar. "Umm.. sorry... Miss... how much is this arrangement?" She looks at you patiently and says: "It's a dollar. Don't forget... everything here is a dollar." And you nod your head slowly as if it's really dawning on you. 'Wow! I've found a goldmine!' You think. 'Why have I never been here before?' And you walk down the isles picking up everything in sight because... HEY! It's just a dollar! But then... then you come to container isle and you see a whole set of fake tupperware wrapped together in crispy plastic wrap. 'No, No, No!' You think. 'SURELY THIS can't be a dollar.' You proudly walk over to the attendant holding up the tupperware (and your 10 other must-have items), thinking you're about to save the store from making a grave mistake on selling this for too cheap. "Now you don't mean to tell me this is a dollar." You have a sly grin on your face, knowing you've finally outwitted the attendant. The attendant turns to you and sighs loudly. "Yes... really... that's a dollar, too." "NO WAY!" You say and then gleefully run back to the isle to pick out the perfect set.

Finally, you mosey on up to the counter with your arms FULL of stuff (including several packs of forks) and you watch the cashier count the items and put them into a big bag. "That's 14 items... $14.90 is your total." At first you're astounded by how simple the checkout process is, then you wince as you realize... 'Darn... there's TAX!'. But yet, you gladly hand over $15 and even tell them to keep the change. Life can't be better!

So, you get home and unwrap all your new found bargains and it's about then you realize you really have no need for a gaudy flower arrangment that looks completely and utterly fake, nor do you really need that measuring teaspoon set in vegetable shapes, nor will you ever really wear that tacky baseball cap reading "I'm with Stupid" you just an hour ago found so unresistable and clever.

But the FORKS! The forks you proudy wash and put in your silverware drawer. Ah yes... it was worth the short entrapment and bad taste shopping binge at the DOLLAR store just to get these forks.

So never forget it, and shop at your local DOLLAR store with pride... just don't be suckered in by those chincy placemats with the map of the United States on them cuz I've checked and Kansas isn't really Magenta. :-D

Friday July 23, 1999

Hi! Did I tell you about my moth problem? Yeah, well... I had a moth problem at my house. I know what you're thinking... 'moths, lizards, spiders... what's up with this woman?' But I have no explination as to why bugs and reptiles flock around me.

Let me tell you how the moth thing started. It was a couple weeks ago and I'd see a moth here or there and I just thought they flew in through the door somehow. I'd swat them with the fly swatter and WHAP! Gone.

But then one day I opened my laundry room doors for some reason or another (most likely NOT to do laundry) and to my horror, there were at least two dozen moths hanging upside down on the ceiling like little vampire bats. EWWWW! I panicked, what should I do? Surely I couldn't swat at them... I'd swat one and the rest would go flying! They'd probably land on me! I ran to get my vacuume cleaner and took off the main part so I had the hose free. I pulled it round over to the laundry room, plugged it in, and sucked those critters up. Whoooop! Whoooop! Whoooop! That's the sound that was made as they were sucked one by one into my vacuume cleaner. 'There!', I thought. 'That'll take care of them.'

My mind wondered how on earth they all got in there and why, so I decided to call Pest Control. I set up an appointment for that Saturday. Then a couple days later, I opened up the laundry room door again and low and behold... there were a ton back! All over the place! Being the nice guy he is, Chris ran out to get some flying insect spray for me while I tried to cook dinner. When he got back, we sprayed them all and they fell to the floor one by one. Floof. Floof. Floof. Ah yeah! That'll take care of 'em for SURE! But nope! The next few days, I had to chase moth after moth down with my fly swatter! 'DIE MOTH DIE...' I chanted in a deranged voice.

Finally, Saturday arrived and the bug guy was to come. I went grocery shopping and when I returned home a full hour before the guy was supposed to be there, there was a note on my door. It was from him saying he missed me. NO! NO NO NO!! I needed the bug guy NOW! This was crucial to my mental health. I called him and left him a message, frantically dramaticizing my moth delemma. A few minutes later he returned my call. He explained to me that I probably had "Indian Meal Moths" and that there was no treatment for them. All I had to do was find the infected product and throw it out. Infected PRODUCT?! AHH! He started rattling off a bunch of items, asking if I had any of them in my laundry room. Dog food, cat food, dried beans, boxed potatoes, oatmeal, etc... No, No, No... none of those items. "Well, how bout bird seed?" He asked. I paused... I had birdseed. I walked into the kitchen and opened the laundry room doors and stared at the bag of birdseed. I shouted for Chris to come help, cuz I had a preminition I might find something scary in or near the birdseed. Chris slowly picked up the bag and we carried into to the kitchen so it was in the light and sure enough... crawling around in the birdseed were dozens of moths. I immediately felt like gagging and went running into the living room, squeeling. Chris laughed and put the birdseed into another bag and took it outside.

"Yeah, there were moths in the birdseed." I said into the phone after I calmed down. The man chuckled and I thanked him profusely for his assistance. "By the way, how did they get in there? I had the bag sealed with a twist tie."

"The FDA allows so many insects (eggs) in bird seed. And if you keep it too long, they will be born and will eat their way out of the bag and fly around and go and lay eggs elsewhere."

'Oh! Is that all', I thought. I am now concerned that these moths may have infected my OTHER food which isn't far away from the laundry room. Here is some more information on Indian Meal Moths:

Boy, after reading all that, I'm gonna give my laundry room a real good cleaning. I still see the occassional moth flying around, and I've got to remember that any moth could potentially lay eggs and create a whole new problem for me. Ugh. I really hope they didn't lay eggs in any of the food in my pantry. I'm a little concerned. That would be soo gross. Really gross. I mean, sickeningly gross.

And all of this stress and hassle cuz I wanted to feed some birds. UGH! Please, if you decide to feed birds, don't keep your birdseed much longer than a month, cuz you don't know how long it's been sitting on the shelf at the store. I wouldn't have imagined in my wildest dreams that birdseed would spawn evil moths. The thought never crossed my mind.

Well, anyway, that's my moth saga. I also wanted to let you know before I go that I have updated my WORKOUT section of my web site with a bunch of nutritional info and exercise info. Check it out cuz I'm getting healthy! Well, Adios! And have a good weekend!

Friday July 9th, 1999

Swimsuits.

Swimsuit Shopping.

Ugh!

Are there any women out there who LIKE swimsuit shopping? See, I'm going to Maryland the first week of August on vacation and I'm in need of a swimming suit. So since we had last Monday off for Independance Day, Chris and I decided to go swimsuit shopping. After a few previous arguments about what kind of swimsuit I should buy, Chris and I came to a compromise. It had to be a bikini and it couldn't be one of those tankini things or high wasted things. Ergh.

A woman on the quest of finding a bikini that doesn't make her scream at her reflection is a woman to be admired. I don't care what you look like or how thin you are. No matter what you put on, at some place on your body, there is either fat, pointy bones, or pale white freckly skin hanging out, over or under. Perhaps freakin' Tyra Banks and the 7 other super models are the only women in the world not affected by this dilemma. I hate them all.

So anyway, while trying on swimming suits, some of the things a woman might need to contend with are her hips (too big or too narrow), her butt (too wide or too bubbly), her chest (too big or too small), and her waist (too poochy or... too poochy). Not to mention other things.

No matter how hard a woman tries, it's next to impossible to easily pick out a suit. After all, you want it to flatter you as much as possible, and there's THINGS to consider. One peice or two? Halter, push-up, full coverage, cami, triangle or underwire? Scoop, string, high-waisted or thong? Sarong, pareo, capri pants or board shorts? ETC.

Women who buy swimsuits through catalogs make me sick. Ok, well, they don't really make me sick, but if they did would you want to know why? Because... if they buy a swimsuit through a catalog, they are very confident in their body and pretty much know that the suit will look good on them no matter what. And it's true! My friend Janice is able to buy swimsuits through catalogs, and this bothers me pretty much cuz... I'm insanely jealous.

So, Chris and I go to Valley View Mall and try to find the "Just Add Water" Store. But it's gone. So I go to Gadzooks and stare at all their glittery, shiny, uncomfortable swimsuits made for teenaged girls. Just about every one is an XXS. Grrrr....

I actually find some in my size (not telling what that is) and I try them on. GOOD LORD ALMIGHTY! That's against the law! And how did that mirror not shatter?! I found the "best of the worst" and put it on hold.

We then run into Foley's where Chris grabs the first swimsuit he sees, tries it on and says "This is fine- it's black and it fits". Scough! NOT FAIR! "Shouldn't you at least try one more?" I seeth in repressed jealousy. "Surely you're not going to buy the first suit you lay your eyes on?" And he says: "Nope, this one is fine. Do you like it?" I told him I liked it, but I had something else in mind and he reluctantly put the suit back.

We then headed to Dillard's where there were absolutely no decent men's swimming suits, so we went upstairs and looked at the women's bikinis. I found several in the style I liked and tried them on... bah! Horrid! BAH! Nasty! Just one after the other. Somehow Chris talked me into buying this one blue and white suit that was a little (OK, a LOT) too small for me. I figured I'd just buy it and bring it to Maryland, but never actually wear it. heeeheee. Oh, I guess that plan won't work now that Chris has probably read this journal entry. Me and my big mouth.

Because the suit I bought at Dillards was too small and I knew I would never wear it in public, I went back to Gadzooks and bought the suit I had on hold there. The bad thing about that suit is that it has horizontal stripes and boy... you know what horizontal stripes do to the buttocks? WOE IS ME! So now I'm stuck with these two suits, one that fits ok, but makes me appear even wider than I am, and one that is so tiny and tight that all sorts of things hang out.

Blech.

On our way out of the mall, we ran into Sears and Chris ended up getting a pretty cool swimsuit for $11. $11! HA! <jealous>

Now, I suppose I should take this journal entry in a whole different way. I should thank God that I am a healthy person and that I am able to walk, see, and speak my mind. I should rejoice in my own body, no matter what its size. I should be glad I can run in the sand and swim in the ocean. So maybe I should stop bitching so much about the way I look in a swimming suit and thank God I'm alive and well enough to wear one at all.

Hmmmm....

Nahhh. :-D

Friday June 25, 1999

I have a little cute lizard that lives outside my front door. Many a person who's come to visit have told me about him, but I had never seen him. Until last weekend. There he was, cute as could be hanging out next to my door, plastered to the brick. I only noticed him cuz the movement caught my eye-- he was scrambling away. I shreiked in joy and made Chris agree that he was, indeed, cute.

Sunday night I was vacuming my living room and entry way and again, something caught my eye. OH NO! It was HIM! The lizard inside my house, trapped, running along the baseboard of my stairway! "Hey little guy!" I said in excitement. "Welcome to my house!" But I knew he couldn't stay in... I knew he needed food. I tried to catch him, but he was soooo fast! So instead, with a peice of mail, I herded him back towards the door and let him out. I felt so satisfied, like I had just had a wonderful visitor pop in. I figured he must have crawled in when I was taking out the trash. What a wonderful pet to have living outside my door. But I would be more careful so that he didn't get in again. After all, what if I'd have vacuumed him up?! OH NO!

Monday night I was sitting on my recliner in my living room, rocking back and forth, when I looked up and saw my scaly friend climbing the wall my front door is on. He got in again. How did he manage that? He must be so skinny he can fit through the door jam! Impressive! The problem is I have two-story-tall ceilings in my living room and he was crawling waaaay up there! How would I get him down? Impossible! I watched and watched and he finally started to come back down, right behind my entertainment center! I couldn't reach him, though. Finally he crawled to the far corner of my living room behind my speaker and I tried to once again herd him toward the door. But he would have none of it. I got him part way then lost him in the mobs of wires and cords behind my entertainment center.

Should I leave him be? Maybe he wants to be in here? Will he die of starvation, and one day when I move I'll find his beloved little body devoid of life? Just like <OH NO- FLASHBACK> -- Fran? What if he crawls into my newt cage and eats them? Or what if I step on him? What if he crawls in my bed at night and I roll over on him? I must catch him and save his little life!

But little Speedy (named by Chris as he watched me try and catch him) didn't seem to understand how I wanted to help. Clearly, he wanted to become a permanent addition to my household. Which reminds me... can I claim him as a dependant? When he finally came out from behind the entertainment center, I was determined to catch him in a large tupperware bowl since I couldn't catch him with my hand. However, in the blink of an eye, Speedy scrambled onto my fireplace hearth and ran inside! OH NO SPEEDY! Thank goodness there was no fire in the fireplace or I would have had one well-done lizard on my hands.

Well, I haven't seen Speedy since, although I've seen some of his kin outside my front door. If I ever see him again, I promise to snap a picture and post it here on my site. The little guy is pretty cute. He's probably about 4 inches long from head to the tip of his tail, and he's light yellow in color and has the cutest black eyes you've ever seen. I hope he's having a great time in my fireplace.

Monday June 16th, 1999

AHHH! The new Toy Story 2 Trailer is out! I'm so excited! Download it from here!

The best part about it is that the ALIENS get the staring role in the trailer, and they're cuter than ever! Ok, they look the same, but they're still cuter than ever.

Have I mentioned that I'm very very excited for Thanksgiving? That's when the movie comes out! I hope the Aliens have a big part in it. Oh pllleeaase!!!!

Well, that's really all I had to say. Have a good week!

p.s. My foot is getting better!

Monday June 7th, 1999

Hey! How's it goin? I was in Wisconsin for Memorial Day weekend and had a blast. I even posted some photos from the trip up on my Photos/Trips area. Check them out! Many interesting things happened, but one in particular that I didn't mention in the TRIPS page....

I got bit.

Sometime most likely Thursday night after I landed in WI, I was bit by something.

I don't remember ever feeling a bite, I only remember the intense itching I felt. I remember sitting on my friends couch with my socks and shoes on and all of a sudden feeling this itching like I've rarely felt before. I hurriedly pulled off my right shoe and sock and intently scratched the top of my foot. AHHH! Felt good to scratch it. Meanwhile, I continued talking about what I was talking about and didn't bother explaining the itchy feeling to anyone. About 30 seconds later, I realized that if I didn't stop scratching my foot, I would probably make it bleed, so I put my sock back on and the itching subsided.

Not long after that, I went to bed.

The next morning I got up to take a shower and as I was showering, I happened to look down at my foot. There was a small (1 square cm) brown splotch on my foot. It almost looked like a birthmark or something. Very odd. Then I remembered the itching from the night before. It was an odd bite reaction. Normally, I would get a red bump, just like a mosquito bite. I showed Chris and he also thought it was weird, but we shrugged it off and went on with our day.

Later that day my foot began to itch again and I scratched and scratched. That night when I took off my shoes and socks, the bite looked much worse. I even thought perhaps I had infected it when I was scratching it, so I decided to put on some antiobotic cream and a bandaid. Just to be safe. From then on, I made sure to only scratch around the bite.

The next day it was about the same. The brown spot was gone- replaced by redness, but it looked like I had cut my foot... and some skin was missing. The bite area appeared to be growing. Again, I figured some how it had gotten infected. Chris was even more concerned. I made sure to wash it well and cover it with a bandaid.

On Sunday a bunch of us went to Six Flags and this was the day the itching nearly drove me over the edge. I'd be standing in line for a ride and the itching would be so intense that I'd have to take off my shoes and socks right there and scratch it like there was no tomorrow. My friends saw it for the first time and thought it was pretty gross. It was pussing constantly and was really red and nasty. By this time the bite area had grown to about 5 times its original size. Chris told me I should go to the Doctor the next day, but the next day was Memorial Day and I knew it would be tough finding a place open that wouldn't give me hassles about my insurance. I told everyone I would go to my own doctor back in Dallas on Tuesday.

I continued to wash it and use antibiotic cream and bandaids. However, Monday there was no change, it was still really gross. Ewwww! What was wrong with my foot? This had never happened to me before.

Tuesday I had a dentist appt. and the doctor could not fit me in that day. I made an appointment for Wednesday morning. Tuesday I actually thought it looked maybe a little better. I think I was trying to be optimistic. Chris wasn't convinced it looked any better and made me promise I'd go to the doctor and not cancel the appointment. I agreed.

When I went to the doctor Wed. morning he sorta seemed grossed out by it, which I thought was funny. He said it looked definitely like a poisonous spider bite. He talked about how poisonous spider bites inject a toxin into the skin that eat away at the cells and kill the skin cells slowly. No amount of antibiotic cream was going to fix it, as a matter of fact, using the cream was most likely making it worse, since most spider toxins will usually die in fresh air. AH! I asked him if he knew what kind of spider it was and he said there was no way to know for sure. I asked him if it could have been a Brown Recluse (one of the only poisonous spiders I know), and he said it was possible. I told him I thought that brown recluse bites made someone very sick-- and he said not necessarily, especially since I was bitten on the foot-- far away from my heart and stomach. He told me he wished I would have come in sooner, and that he's seen bites like these require skin grafts. At this point I got a little nervous. He then had the nurse give me two injections (in the butt, ow!) and a perscription for oral antibiotics. If It was a Brown Recluse bite, I don't see how it could have bitten me while I was sitting on the couch with my socks and shoes on. They are too big to fit down my sock. Not to mention, that Brown Recluse spiders are very rare in WI, but common in TX. This could mean that I was bit earlier that day while in Dallas. Some of the sites I read did mention it could take 6 to 8 hours to notice the bite if the bite wasn't too big. Did I mention I'm having Pest Control come out to my house this Saturday?

That night I went home and took a picture of my foot with my digital camera. I figured this was definitely a topic worth mentioning in my journal. So here's the photo:

What do you think? Any idea what kind of spider bit me? Here are some photos of other Brown Recluse bites:

Well, the bite is slowly getting better. But it's still pretty gross. I hope my foot isn't disfigured for life. So anyway, here's the moral of this story... if you get bit by something and it's turning your skin brown or black and the sore area is getting bigger and bigger, go to the doctor right away. :-D

You know, the grossest thing of all about this whole ordeal was the disturbing fact of knowing there was a SPIDER crawling on my foot and I didn't know it! UGH! ICK! AHHHHH!